College Contracts: Too Much, or Just Right?
Posted 15 Aug, 2009
Recently I came across a book on Amazon called College Contracts: Authentic Conversations With College-Bound Adult Children –a book about how to make a contract with your child before he or she heads off to school. The concept intrigued me, and I wondered whether the average parent would consider it.
The Give and Take (in Writing)
I think most parents will agree that turning 18 doesn’t automatically turn their children into the kind of adults who mostly exhibit sound judgment and can wisely make most of their life’s decisions. These life skills build with time and experience. For a lot of students, moving out from under their parent’s roof and escaping the proverbial thumb of parental supervision can spell trouble. Some students take on too much school work (or not enough), participate in too many extracurricular activities (or get caught up with the wrong crowd), or end up making poor decisions without realizing their lifelong impact.
The concept of having your child sign a pre-college contract serves the purpose of clarifying the expectations associated with their new-found freedoms. Parents who are paying for all or part of college might want to lay down rules–such as a minimum GPA or maximum graduation year as a stipulation of that funding.
The book suggests you could even extend the contract to include requirements for living arrangements, rules about returning home for summer or post-graduate stays, and budget restrictions.
Once the contract is drafted, you both sign, date, and stick to it.
Pitfalls and Fine Print
Though it might sound like a good way to protect your college investment as a parent, the potential problems with this approach seem numerous, and potentially detrimental to your child.
First, though the contract will clearly spell out your expectations, it is important to consider how your student will react. Independence is already a daunting prospect for many high-school graduates, and the added pressure of a binding legal contract might be overkill. Students under too much pressure from themselves or their parents often have difficulty performing well in college and maintaining high self-esteem.
Second, I have found that one of the key functions of a parent is being able to adjust to our changing role as our child matures. Even when our children excitedly leave home for the first time, parents serve as an important safety net and support system. Students need to know that if something goes wrong or they need a little advice, they can count on us. A contractual agreement about their higher education experience might tarnish your student’s view of their ability to confide in and lean on you as he or she encounters life’s challenges as a college student.
Finding a Balance
While I might not advocate a full-blown contractual agreement, it is definitely a good idea to have open conversations with your student about their college years. Discussing things like work-ethic, budgeting, peer group, lifestyle and other important issues–before they come up in real life–will help prepare your student to make wise decisions when the time comes. Be proactive and serious in discussing these issues and your expectations, but don’t forget to encourage and support your student as he or she faces this next big step in life.
In short, find a balance that will work well for both you and your student, so that both of you can work towards helping your student get the most out of the college experience.
All the best,
Deborah Fox
Deborah Fox is the founder of Fox College Funding®, a nationwide company that helps families find creative ways to reduce their college costs.
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Recently I came across a book on Amazon called College Contracts: Authentic Conversations With College-Bound Adult Children –a book about how to make a contract with your child before he or she heads off to school. The concept intrigued me, and I wondered whether the average parent would consider it.
The Give and Take (in Writing)
I think most parents will agree that turning 18 doesn’t automatically turn their children into the kind of adults who mostly exhibit sound judgment and can wisely make most of their life’s decisions. These life skills build with time and experience. For a lot of students, moving out from under their parent’s roof and escaping the proverbial thumb of parental supervision can spell trouble. Some students take on too much school work (or not enough), participate in too many extracurricular activities (or get caught up with the wrong crowd), or end up making poor decisions without realizing their lifelong impact.
The concept of having your child sign a pre-college contract serves the purpose of clarifying the expectations associated with their new-found freedoms. Parents who are paying for all or part of college might want to lay down rules–such as a minimum GPA or maximum graduation year as a stipulation of that funding.
The book suggests you could even extend the contract to include requirements for living arrangements, rules about returning home for summer or post-graduate stays, and budget restrictions.
Once the contract is drafted, you both sign, date, and stick to it.
Pitfalls and Fine Print
Though it might sound like a good way to protect your college investment as a parent, the potential problems with this approach seem numerous, and potentially detrimental to your child.
First, though the contract will clearly spell out your expectations, it is important to consider how your student will react. Independence is already a daunting prospect for many high-school graduates, and the added pressure of a binding legal contract might be overkill. Students under too much pressure from themselves or their parents often have difficulty performing well in college and maintaining high self-esteem.
Second, I have found that one of the key functions of a parent is being able to adjust to our changing role as our child matures. Even when our children excitedly leave home for the first time, parents serve as an important safety net and support system. Students need to know that if something goes wrong or they need a little advice, they can count on us. A contractual agreement about their higher education experience might tarnish your student’s view of their ability to confide in and lean on you as he or she encounters life’s challenges as a college student.
Finding a Balance
While I might not advocate a full-blown contractual agreement, it is definitely a good idea to have open conversations with your student about their college years. Discussing things like work-ethic, budgeting, peer group, lifestyle and other important issues–before they come up in real life–will help prepare your student to make wise decisions when the time comes. Be proactive and serious in discussing these issues and your expectations, but don’t forget to encourage and support your student as he or she faces this next big step in life.
In short, find a balance that will work well for both you and your student, so that both of you can work towards helping your student get the most out of the college experience.
All the best,
Deborah Fox
Deborah Fox is the founder of Fox College Funding®, a nationwide company that helps families find creative ways to reduce their college costs.
Subscribe in a reader
Subscribe by Email
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